A Challenge to the Next Generation of Parents
How often do we blame our children for the mistakes of their parents, for our mistakes? I read recently a young twenty-something writing about life through his experience, and an excerpt from his writing addressed the common rantings of many adults right now, “This generation can’t handle anything, they have no resiliency, they are too soft.” This statement seemingly blames the younger generation for their lack of strength. But, from this young man’s perception, he responds with, “it was your generation, our parents, that couldn’t let us fail, that had to make sure everyone was given a trophy.” And it’s true…the parents of this population instilled a false sense of accomplishment because they couldn’t bear to think their children were (Oh my God, NO!) average.
There is a new perception I’d like to offer…Every child born is born with a purpose, has a core reason for being here, and they are the only one that can accomplish their purpose. Therefore, there is no average. Yes, every single person born is born special, BUT, they have to be allowed to find their purpose and live their life for that purpose. Celebrating them for false reasons only slows down their ability to find that purpose. Giving a false sense of accomplishment only denies them the drive and courage that is necessary to journey down their path.
The instinct to make others, especially children, feel good about themselves isn’t wrong, it has just played out in a misguided way. If parents stepped back from their children for a moment and allowed their child to discover where they do excel, there would be no need to give everyone a trophy, there would be no need to instill a false sense of accomplishment. Our children would be rising to their potential and would feel what it’s like to actually accomplish a true purpose. Not every child can be an NFL star or is meant to follow in their parents’ footsteps. Not every child is designed to be an “A” student or born with genius IQ’s. Let your child flourish in the light they were meant to shine in. Celebrate them for that purpose, not the one you think they should be exceling in.
Imagine the difference this could make in the world, if every person knew they existed for a reason and lived for their purpose. I read a Facebook post that proclaimed “I will not raise a bully, but I will not raise a victim, either. I will teach my child to defend themselves.” When we are all living our purpose, there would be nothing to defend against. We would have nothing to defend because we would all be fulfilled and not feel the need to grow our power by stealing someone else’s. We would not need protection because there would be no one trying to take from us. When we are consumed with our purpose, we are not threatened by the gains and growth of others. We can recognize that we each have our own path to grow along and not be concerned with the movement of others. This is the basis for true harmony and peace.
So once again, I leave you with the thought, Let it begin with me. I will be the change I wish to see in the world. I pledge to step back from my son and allow him to grow in his share of the sunlight. He can explore and choose the path he is to follow, without hindrance or offerings of disbelief from me. He will know that there is enough money to make his dreams come true, there is enough support to spread his wings and learn to fly on his own, there is enough love for him to fail and get up to try again. He won’t need a trophy for not accomplishing something, his teachers won’t be falsely accused for his bad grades, he won’t be protected from difficult situations. He will have room to grow as he is meant to grow.
What part will you play?