Check in with your values
Sometimes I feel like I have multiple personality disorder. It comes from being a reforming people-pleaser. I just want to do the best I can in every situation, and I think that making people happy is the end result to doing my best. Guess what? I’ve been very wrong.
You can’t please everyone and be a consistent, singular personality. Everyone is different and what pleases one will not please another, hence the multiple personalities. I have to act inconsistently in order to consistently please. Can you see the problem in that? I am not being true to my own beliefs and values because I am putting others’ ahead of my own.
Have you been suffering from multiple pleasing disorder too? Great news is, there’s a cure for this horrible affliction. Get clear on your values. Sit down with a pen and paper and begin to write out what your priorities are and find the value behind each one. I have come to find that living with integrity is my number one value. Everything else is either second to this or falls under this one value.
Next, become clear on what these values look like in each of your four domains of life. How would someone with your values act in relationship with others? How does this affect your health? What part does it play in your career? And what about your free time? Getting clear on each of these domains will set you up for success no matter what circumstances come your way.
Ever wonder how to rise above your circumstances? Get clear on who you are and stay genuine to your truth. Then no matter what arises, you will always know how to react.
- Write out a list of who you want to be/strive to be at your very best.
- Copy this onto a business size card and decorate however makes you happy.
- Carry this card with you at all times. When you find yourself in a tough position, refer to your card and act accordingly. You will look back at your actions with satisfaction and pride rather than regret.
I am not a business person in the traditional sense. So, I did what any “smart” person does and began following recommendations from others I viewed as smart business people, but I felt like crap. Traditional business and marketing tactics do not use integrity, in my experience. I was acting in disconnect from my values. I wasn’t successful and I didn’t feel good about the decisions I was making.
Then I realized being “smart” was sending me down the wrong path, instead I had to be Intelligent. Smart people are willing to listen and follow directions really well, but they don’t question. Intelligent people know when to ask questions and figure out what questions to ask. In my quest to align my business with my values I found a business coach who acts with the highest integrity. Now I have someone to model after who harmonizes with my truth. Business has never been better and I am in alignment with my genuine self.
Go find your truth and stay in alignment with it! You’ll be amazed at the ease this will bring and the confidence you will gain.
With an open heart,
P.S. I love hearing your stories, struggles and successes. Keep sending them my way!